Living the easy life

Alright, dear readers, it’s time for another exciting post by yours truly. Are you ready? Good. Because I have some disclaimers. First, I really have no room to talk about today’s subject, since I have no experience whatsoever in this area. Second, I really only had one disclaimer. But it sounded better with two. Okay, here we go.

A few days ago Krista told the Romgi and I about a lady in her ward who is having a baby sometime soon. (By “sometime soon” I mean in the next 9 months. No idea how pregnant she is, but let’s pretend she’s 7 months.) This lovely woman is planning on having the baby at home, sans midwife or doula — just her and her husband. Which I think would be fine except that it’s her first baby. Here is where my lack of experience comes into play, and I ignore that. WHAT IS SHE THINKING?! Apparently she and her husband bought a book about emergency births and if anything goes wrong (which, according to her, it won’t), they’ll just pull that out. Um, so this is what could happen:

Wife: What’s going on?! Something is wrong!!
Husband: I don’t know! The baby is turning weird colors! I think the cord is wrapped around its neck!
Wife: Quick, grab the book!
Husband: ……………..Where did you put it?!?

You get the point. Anyway, Krista said that the primary reason this lady has for doing such a risky (in my eyes) thing is that she wants to be comfortable. I believe her words were something like, “What if I want to take a bath or watch a movie?” Again with the no experience bit: but I’m pretty sure that you could find someplace in a hospital to take a bath, or even watch a movie. Doing both at once, though — well, she’s right, then. You could only do that at home. Why bother with people who have childbirth experience? Seriously, couldn’t she at least have another woman there, one who has actually had babies before? Maybe they’re trying to save money. Maybe they’re in that unfortunate income range where they don’t qualify for Medicaid but can’t afford insurance. And if I were in that situation…I WOULD HAVE SOMEONE THERE WITH ME! Krista and the Romgi and I had a good long rant about the seeming recklessness of this decision. Sure, the wife will be comfortable enough while she’s lounging around, but what happens when she actually goes into labor? Don’t people usually take classes or at least talk to someone to help prepare them for the experience? Because I’m pretty sure that childbirth is a big deal.

Oh wait, I wouldn’t know. Obviously this lady does. Here’s a toast to her completely stress-free delivery.

(Dear readers with and without any knowledge on this subject, you are now free to comment.)

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8 thoughts on “Living the easy life

  1. KHL says:

    Maybe once she figures out that she’s in too much pain to take a bath or watch a movie, or ANYTHING ELSE, she’ll change her mind . . .

  2. Romgi says:

    Here is another possible situation:

    Husband: Here it comes, the baby’s head is coming out!!
    Wife: Honey, could you move? I’m trying to see if Nemo is going to get out of the fish tank.

    Because I’m sure that once the baby starts to come out, she’ll be thinking of baths and movies.

  3. Katie says:

    First of all, if they are BYU students (either of them- husband OR wife) then they are covered through DMBA insurance (now how would I know that?)–so it shouldn’t be an insurance thing. BYU probably has more births covered than any other medical issue. Only a guess. BYU students are required to have insurance. It’s not optional. But they do get extremely low premiums because there are how many students at BYU paying premiums??

    Ok, now for the other thing I think is strange: If I had a baby, I think I would be more interested in raiding the cupboards for pain medication, and want to sleep the majority of the time. I personally wouldn’t be as interested in watching T.V. –at least for a few days…by which point, she would most likely be out of the hospital anyway. Just my crazy opinion…

  4. roni says:

    Agreed, to all of the above. I guess this lady thinks that she’ll just pop a few ibuprofen when the pain gets bad. Or maybe she has a secret morphine supplier?

    Either way, it seems altogether ridiculous to me. I’m sure I’ll be hollering for another epidural. Modern medicine for me! Why go natural when you could have prescription-strength painkillers? Obviously this woman has never had Percocet. Poor thing.

  5. Nicole says:

    Wow…I’m not brave enough to do that. I would be far too concerned that something would go terribly, horridly wrong.

    Also, I think I’d rather keep the pain and trauma part associated with the hospital, and not my living room.

  6. Bethany says:

    I was worried that I was going to give birth in the car on the way to the hospital with how fast my last labor went!! I chose to have an epidural. Why suffer when I could be calm and comfortable!! I certainly couldn’t do it at home. My anesthesiologists were miracle workers!! Why are people more afraid of having trained professionals help, than giving birth on their own — with no experience — where more things could go wrong. Who knows, maybe everything will work out for this lady.

  7. monsterface says:

    there is a reason america’s infant mortality rate is so low… medical science!

    the first things i thought about after i read this were darwin’s theories.

  8. Grammar Police says:

    Should be “Krista told the Romgi and me,” and you knew that, smarty.

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